Intenta Suicidio
by Depends Solomon
Summary: Ch 8 upAttempted Suicide....That's how it all started for Liliana Thompson. She had it planned when someone had to stop her. But not just anybody....A newsie.
1. The Attempt

Hey everybody....Yeah I have a new story going now...I was thinking about the movie "Kate and Leopold"...which is fantabulous....when the idea struck me....Well, then you get this. So I hope you like it. Please REVIEW so I know whether or not I should keep going with it.  
  
I revised this for those reviewers who were getting annoyed with the stars. I could only get rid of the ones I placed in the cuss words. The other stars show the person is thinking due to the fact that WordPad won't let me use italics. I hope to remedy this sometime soon but until then bear with me please.  
  
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The Attempt.....  
  
Liliana felt the breeze whip her long, auburn hair away from her face as she stood at the distant horizon. She felt the breeze but she didn't take notice of it. She didn't notice anything really.  
  
She concentrated all of her energy and thoughts upon her mission. New York had turned its back on her all her life. Tonight she was going to turn hers on New York forever.  
  
Being able to turn your back on things was something she had learned from her father. He turned his back on her and her mother two years ago. *Then Mom turned her back on me,* she thought bitterly. *She blames me.*  
  
Liliana could still hear her mother's shouted accusations from when they woke up and he was gone. She told her that she hadn't been a good daughter. She hadn't gotten the straight A's her father asked of her. She had talked back too much. He left because he couldn't stand to have such a failure for a daughter.  
  
"Don't worry Mother. I'll be gone from your life soon. I bet he will come running back when I'm gone," she said to the wind. Closing her grey-blue eyes, she thought, *I just want to be somewhere where I am wanted.*  
  
She began to make the jump when suddenly someone picked her up and put their body between hers and the bridge. Her eyes flew open to meet one bright blue eye.  
  
"What the hell are you doing?,"she yelled. "Let me go."  
  
"Look miss, I ain't lettin' ya go through wid it," he said softly, almost comfortingly.  
  
"It's my life, asshole. I can do whatever I want with it. Just like you can wear that ridiculous eye-patch. Do you think you're a pirate or something? And what's with those clothes and the..." She paused as she began to look around. No cars. No lit-up skyscrapers. "Holy shit, where am I?"  
  
"Yer on da Brooklyn Bridge," he said calmly. "Are ya okay, miss?"  
  
"I must've...but how...Is that even possible?...Oh my...I ...shit, shit, shit," she stammered in confusion. The 'pirate' just looked at her warily as her tried to understand what she was saying.  
  
"Who are you?," she whispered in a shaky voice.  
  
"Da name's KidBlink or Blink fer short. At least dat's what all da other newsies call me," he replied as he began to stare at her clothes.  
  
"Newsies?"  
  
"Yeah, I'se a newsboy," he said with pride.  
  
"Newsboy...but didn't...There hasn't...What is...Do you have a left over paper?," she asked in desperation.  
  
"Uh..yeah. Dat'll be a penny, miss."  
  
"A penny? I just want to see the date." KidBlink gave her a questioning look as he handed her a paper.  
  
"June 15th," she read. "That's today.....1899!!! That's ......105 years ago!! Holy shit!" 


	2. Bad First Impression

Bad First Impression...  
  
"June 15th...," she read. "That's today...1899?! That's ...105 years ago!! Holy shit!!!"  
  
"Miss, are ya sure yer okay? Yer not makin' any sense."  
  
"Stop with the 'miss' crap. Dammit, it makes me feel old. I'm Liliana."  
  
"Liliana, dat's a very pretty name." He spoke as if he was refering to a child.  
  
"I didn't mean you should start treating me like I'm 6 years old. I'm almost seventeen," she said in exasperation.  
  
"I didn't mean ta treat ya like a child. It jist happened. Honest," he explained in self-defense. "I'm sorry."  
  
Liliana narrowed her eyes in suspicion. Nobody had ever apologized to her, except when they wanted something from her. "What do you want?"  
  
"Me? I want ta live in a nice house someday wid a beautiful wife, four kids and a dog," he said cheerfully. "What do you want?"  
  
"I want....That's not important. I need to think now. I need to find out what happened to me and why you are wearing....that?!" She waved her hand at his clothes as she spoke.  
  
KidBlink looked down at his clothes. He knew they were a little worn out and dirty but at least his were normal. "Liliana, I ain't da one wearin' da strange clothes."  
  
Liliana looked at her own clothes. She was wearing her favorite black spagetti-strap tank top and skin-tight blue jeans. Along with her black sandals and jewelry, she thought she looked somewhat decent.  
  
She looked again at KidBlink in his old-fashioned clothes. He had on a long sleeve white t-shirt with a tan vest and brown pants. To top it all off, he also wore a brown cap and had tied a green bandana around his neck. Remembering that it was only 1899, she had to admit to herself that he was right. She looked really out of place. Especially with all the make-up she had on.  
  
"Do you know where I can get some clothes? If I can't just kill myself now, I might as well get some decent clothes to wear."  
  
"Sure, jist follow me." Blink motioned her to follow him. He looked back at her every now and then to make sure she wasn't just trying to get rid of him. He had his own opinions on why she was dressed scandalously and why she was trying to kill herself.  
  
Liliana followed Blink languidly as she gazed at the changes of Manhattan. From the dirty streets to the old run-down buildings, she almost didn't recognize where they were.  
  
She noticed Blink climbing up the steps of a building marked 'Newsboys Lodging House'. "Wait...uh...KidBlink. The sign says newsboys. Where is the Newsgirls Lodging House at?"  
  
Blink turned and walked back down the steps to Liliana. He reached out a hand, making Liliana take a hasty step backwards. "It's okay," he whispered as he gently took her hand in his. "Dere's goils in da house. Only a few dough so dey haven't gotten a new sign. Not dat dere's enough money fer a new sign."  
  
As he spoke, he led her up the steps and inside the door. Immediately all noise inside the building ceased as the newcomers were inspected thoroughly. A low whistle pierced through the silence as a tall boy with cowboy attire on stepped forward.  
  
"Heya, miss," he drawled as he tipped his black cowboy hat.  
  
"Hey, yourself," retorted Liliana, disliking the cowboy and the way he stared at her. "Take a picture, it lasts longer, asshole."  
  
"What?," he asked in confusion.  
  
"I said...nevermind. Just stop staring at me. " She felt Blink's hand begin to squeeze hers in warning. The gesture reminded her that he held her hand. She dropped his hand and quickly changed tactics. Swaying her hips seductively, she sauntered up to the cowboy. "Heya cowboy," she whispered as she began to make a tight circle around him.  
  
Stopping in front of him, she placed a hand on his chest as she whispered, "Gotta name?"  
  
"I'se Jack, dollface," he replied smoothly as he wrapped an arm around her waist, pulling her up against him.  
  
She smiled evilly as she whispered in his ear, "Look at me, touch me, or say anything that implies a secret innuendo and I swear I'll give you a long, torturous death that will make you wish you had never met me." The warning declared she brought her knee up hard and fast.  
  
Jack fell back from the force and surprise of the move. The pain quickly set in as he hit the floor.  
  
"Shit, Liliana why did you do dat?," cried KidBlink as he grabbed her arm and turned her to face him.  
  
"You saw the way he was looking at me. I don't take that shit from anybody. Especially bastards like him."  
  
By this time, Jack was helped up and being held up by a dark, muscular boy with curly brown hair. "Why's she here Blink?," Jack questioned darkly.  
  
"She needs a place ta stay....and some decent clothes."  
  
"She ain't stayin'. Give 'er some clothes and show her out," Jack commanded.  
  
"Jack Kelly, ya ain't throwin' a goil her size out in Mahattan at dis time of night," declared an older man with glasses as he walked out from behind his counter.  
  
"But, Kloppman you..."  
  
"Yeah, I saw but she was right. Ya weren't treatin' her like a lady. You may be da leader but I still own and run dis building. I say she stays and what I say goes."  
  
Liliana smirked at Jack. "And you young lady, will stop trying to beat up any of dese newsies. Blink show her around. Everyone else ya got twenty minutes before lights out. No arguments. I ain't gonna take it tonight," ordered Kloppman.  
  
Blink quickly took Liliana's hand again and led her upstairs. Liliana allowed him to lead her into a bunkroom before shaking off his hand. Crossing her arms over her chest, she leaned back against a bed post.  
  
"What da hell were ya thinkin'? Jack could've thrown us both out on da street." Blink ran a hand through his long blond hair.  
  
"Me? What was he thinking by treating me like some whore on the street?"  
  
"Oh I dunno. Maybe cause ya are one."  
  
"Look, asshole. I'm not a whore. I'm...nevermind you wouldn't understand, let alone believe me."  
  
"Maybe if you explained, I would understand," he tried.  
  
Liliana just stared blankly at him. No one had ever tried to understand her. Not even Luke. "What do you want?"  
  
"I told you. I want ta live in a ..," he started with a smile.  
  
"No, what do you want from me?"  
  
"Why do I have to want something?"  
  
"Because in my experience, people are only nice when they want something."  
  
Blink took a few steps closer to her, until he could reach out and caress her cheek. "All I'm doing is trying to help out a new friend."  
  
Liliana flinched away from his hand. "Where are those clothes I was promised?," she asked while moving away from him.  
  
Blink dropped his hand with a sigh. Turning, he walked overto a door and opened it to reveal a closet half-full of clothes. He quickly pulled out a small dark-blue shirt that was the same style as his and a dark pair of pants.  
  
"Dese is da smallest we got," he said, handing her the clothes. "Oh and here are some suspenders in case da pants are too big." He added black suspenders to the pile.  
  
Liliana quickly changed in the washroom. The shirt fit her nicely while the pants were a little too big. The suspenders helped hold them up well. She opened a few buttons of her shirt to show off her tank top.  
  
"I still need some shoes," she said as she walked out of the washroom.  
  
"Here's some shoes fer ya, sweetheart."  
  
Liliana jerked her head in the direction of the somewhat familiar voice. "Heya Cowboy," she said coolly.  
  
Jack threw the shoes at her feet, almost hitting her but she didn't move. She picked up the shoes and sat down on the nearest bunk.  
  
"Thanks, Cowboy. Where did the pirate go?," she asked, nonchalantly as she tried on the shoes. Surprisingly, they actually fit her.  
  
"His name's KidBlink," growled Jack.  
  
"I know but with the eye patch, he reminds me of a mysterious blond pirate." Smiling seductively, she added, "I don't know why but there's just something about mysterious men that I find rather sexy. Especially when they are pirates."  
  
Jack crossed to her quickly and squatted down in front of her. "Look, slut I came ta warn ya dat Kloppman ain't gonna support ya fer long and me newsies won't accept a bitch among dem. So don't get too comfy here. Ya ain't stayin' long."  
  
He got up and left quickly.  
  
"Just great," she said aloud as she stared at the door. "They hate me already."  
  
*Well maybe not all of them,* she added in her head as she thought of KidBlink.  
  
~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~  
  
Hey everybody, I'm so glad you're enjoying this all so far. I'm not exactly sure where this story is leading me but I can't wait to figure it out. Normally I would do my shout-outs here but I am going to need to work on some homework that I've been putting off as long as possible. I hope you all enjoyed this chapter!!! Please REVIEW!!!!!  
  
~Molly 


	3. Plan A: A slight climb

Plan A: A Slight Climb......  
  
Liliana sighed heavily as she plopped down in a chair at Tibby's. The morning had dragged on unbearably. First she had been woken up at the crack of dawn by Kloppman who had ordered her to get a job if she wanted to stay any longer. Then she had to drink disgustingly weak coffee and eat stale bread for breakfast.  
  
She had been forced to sell with the constantly cheerful KidBlink. His never-ending quest to engage her in a conversation was getting rather annoying. *Why can't I just sell with someone like....Snitch or Itey? They would be too scared to try and talk to me,* she thought bitterly.  
  
As it was she had to stifle a groan as she felt someone plop down next to her. Looking up just confirmed her suspicions. "Hey KidBlink, what's up?," she asked, not really caring about his answer.  
  
"Heya Lillie," he answered with his usual cheer.  
  
"I never said you could call me 'Lillie'," she growled.  
  
Deflated for a moment, Blink looked around at the other few occupants of the restaurant. Turning his attention back to Liliana he tried once again. "Ya know yer pretty good fer a beginner."  
  
"Lying was something I mastered a long time ago. Probably as soon as I could talk." Liliana kept her gaze focused safely on the world outside. Beyond the conversation and beyond the boy sitting next to her.  
  
"What we do ain't lyin', it's improvin' da truth. We don't lie, at least not ta each oddea," he corrected softly.  
  
Liliana shrugged. "I'm not a newsie. I just need a place to stay and a way to survive for as long as I'm here."  
  
"And how long is dat?"  
  
She shrugged in response once again but offered no spoken reply. Blink sighed. He was starting to think he would never reach her. She was just too damn stubborn and evasive. He had to try though. He had to hope. Hope that if he managed to become her friend then the threat of her finishing what she she started on the bridge would vanish.  
  
Clinging to that hope he tried again. "So you ready ta head out again?"  
  
This comment seemed to catch Liliana's attention for she sent him a confused look. "We just got here."  
  
"Yeah, well I thought maybe you'd like to come with me for a while. I want to show you something."  
  
Liliana narrowed her eyes in distrust but relaxed a little as she saw the hope lying in his eyes.  
  
"Fine, I'll come," she agreed grudgingly. She rolled her eyes at how happy Blink became. "Are we going now or not?," she snapped.  
  
Blink immediately calmed down and nodded before getting up and leading the way out of Tibby's. Liliana followed cautiously as she watched Blink walk unhurried and without a care. He began to whistle softly as he walked.  
  
"Where are you leading me?," she asked skeptically. He continued walking and whistling as if he didn't hear her. She rolled her eyes and mumbled incoherently under her breath for a moment before continuing to follow him.  
  
Next thing she knew, she was in Central Park. Liliana made a slow circle as she took it all in. It looked very similar to what she remembered.  
  
"What did you....?" Her question was cut off as she turned around and only saw trees. "KidBlink?"  
  
She couldn't see him but she could still hear him whistling. She followed the sound to a tree. Looking up, she found him sitting nonchalantly on a branch high above her.  
  
"KidBlink, what the hell are you doing? Come down here!" Blink either ignored or didn't hear her. She sighed in frustration as she began to climb up the tree.  
  
Gripping the branck Blink was sitting on, she began to pull herself up. At that moment, her foot slipped which threw her off-balance. However, she didn't fall. Instead, she found herself suspended in the air with Blink gripping her arms.  
  
Slowly she helped to pull herself onto the branch. She sat down and almost fell again except Blink caught her. With her eyes wide in fear, she gripped his forearms with her hands.  
  
"And we are up here, why?," she asked as calmly as possible.  
  
"Dis is what I wanted ta show ya."  
  
"What? Different ways to commit suicide?"  
  
"No. Look," he replied with a smile as he motioned towards the leaves.  
  
She followed his direction and through the leaves she saw two young kids standing by a nearby tree. The little girl giggled as she peered over the boy's shoulder. The boy sent her a cocky grin as he stood back to look at his work.  
  
'LJ + EP' was carved within a heart on the tree trunk. The carving reminded Liliana of things better left forgotten. The little kids ran off holding hands as Liliana looked back at Blink.  
  
"Why did you want to show me two kids carving a tree?"  
  
"Because at the age of 10, those two show more love for life then you do at 17."  
  
"They haven't seen the things I have. They don't know how cruel life can be." She looked away as she spoke, remembering the life she led in 2004.  
  
"What have you seen? Why do you hate life?"  
  
"We better climb down before one of us, namely me, falls and breaks an arm."  
  
Blink helped her to the ground, making sure she didn't fall. Plan A might not have worked but hopefully Plan B would. He had to hope it would. 


	4. B is for Brooklyn and Broken hearts

B is for Brooklyn and broken hearts....  
  
It was the perfect day to enact Plan B. Blink couldn't believe his luck as he walked along the crowded streets as the sun beat down on him. However, Liliana did not feel the same joy.  
  
"It's so damn hot! Days like these I hate New York!," she growled as she tried to fan herself with one of her unsold papers. Blink rolled his good eye and began to whistle.  
  
Liliana followed Blink willingly but stopped talking, except for occassionally hawking a headline. Before she knew what was happening, they were walking on the Brooklyn Bridge.  
  
"Where are we going?," she asked accusingly.  
  
"Where does it look like we'se goin'?," replied Blink as he continued across the bridge.  
  
"Brooklyn. Dammit, it looks like you're taking me to Brooklyn of all places," she practically shouted as she stood unmoving.  
  
"What's wrong wid Brooklyn? I t'ought ya would like ta meet Spot Conlon," he said as he turned and slowly approached her.  
  
Her glare was focused past him. He could see the anger and pain flicker across her face. He took her hand, bringing her back from her memories. She snatched her hand away and turned to leave but he caught her.  
  
"Whatever happened ta ya before won't happen again. I promise."  
  
Liliana could barely hear his words over the echo of the one fatal gunshot. *Luke*, she thought.  
  
"I'm not going to Brooklyn," she whispered. "Don't make me go."  
  
"I just want ta introduce ya ta some friends of mine. No one's gonna hurt ya."  
  
"No, they never hurt me. They only hurt who I'm with," she whispered so softly Blink almost couldn't hear her.  
  
"No one's going to hurt me. I'se got friends in high places. C'mon I'll show ya."  
  
Liliana allowed him to drag her all the way across the bridge. She looked out at Brooklyn as she stepped off the bridge. She felt Blink tug her towards the docks. She couldn't even think to protest going near that horrible place.  
  
"Spot!," she heard Blink call out to one of the newsies hanging around the docks. The boy turned around....  
  
"Oh my god, Luke!" Suddenly she couldn't breathe.  
  
'Luke' gave her a questioning glance before spit-shaking with Blink. "Heya, Kid. How's it rollin'?"  
  
The voice was different. It wasn't Luke. She closed her eyes as relief came over her. *Of course it's not Luke,* she thought. *Luke's gone.*  
  
"Lillie, you okay?," asked Blink in concern.  
  
"Don't call me Lillie!," she snapped. "I'm fine."  
  
"Spot, dis is Liliana. Liliana, dis is Spot Colon, the most respected and famous newsie in all New York and probably everwhere else."  
  
Spot smirked as he took Liliana's outstretched hand and raised it to his lips. She jerked her hand away, completely shocking Spot. He wasn't used to being turned down by any girl.  
  
"Shake my hand, don't kiss it, you moron." She offered her hand once more and this time Spot shook it, his face once again blank. She snatched her hand away again and turned to Blink. "There I met you friend, let's go back now."  
  
"What's wrong? Ya look as if you've seen a ghost," said Blink with concern.  
  
"Maybe I have," she said quietly as she glared at Spot.  
  
"Fine we'll go. Sorry about...," was all Liliana heard as she began to walk away from this Luke look-alike. Long forgotten images flowed through her mind.  
  
*Oh god, Luke. I swore I would never come back here,* she thought.as a shiver ran through her body.  
  
"Liliana, what's wrong?," asked Blink as he walked beside her.  
  
"I swore I would never come back here. But here I am." She spoke without emotion, scaring Blink.  
  
"Why would you swear something like that?," he asked softly, trying to ignore the lump forming in his throat. He couldn't help but fear he might have made everything worse.  
  
"Because of Luke."  
  
"Dat's what ya called Spot," he said, trying to piece it all together. Liliana nodded as she stared ahead.  
  
"He looks so much like Luke but he doesn't sound like him. Luke had a deep, musical voice. I loved his voice."  
  
"Luke died, didn't he? In Brooklyn. Dat's why you hate being there."  
  
"Yes, he died." She looked over at him. Her eyes were filled with such pain that Blink had to look away.  
  
"If you ever need to talk..."  
  
"I don't," she snapped.  
  
"Okay, I got it. Let's just finish selling so we can eat."  
  
Liliana didn't reply. She just kept walking. Blink noticed her longing glances as they walked over the Brooklyn Bridge. He cursed himself for making everything worse. He had to be careful or he might lose her. 


	5. Reasons to Forget

Reasons to Forget.....  
  
There are reasons to forget  
  
The things left in the past  
  
There are reasons to forget  
  
All we once held dear  
  
There are reasons to forget  
  
The pain we've locked inside  
  
There are reasons to forget  
  
The laughs and tears we're shared.....  
  
"I'm just going for a walk KidBlink. I promise not to kill myself. I just want some time to think," declared Liliana as she walked with Blink to the lodging house.  
  
"I'm not sure you should be alone right now," argued Blink.  
  
"KidBlink, I am taking a walk and if you DARE follow me I'll make sure that you aren't able to walk ever again." She turned, shooting Blink her deadliest glare. Blink refused to react to her threat, though.  
  
"You'll come back, right? I won't have to read about you in the papes, will I?," asked Blink.  
  
"You have to admit that would make a great headline," joked Liliana.  
  
"No, it wouldn't," said Blink, all amusement gone from his voice. "Fine, go."  
  
"Thanks....Dad."  
  
Liliana began to run back the way they had come. When she was well out of sight of the lodging house, she slowed down to a walk.  
  
"L. J." The initials flashed across her mind. *Luke*, she thought. *Lucas Jordan.* As she did on every walk, she found herself on the Brooklyn Bridge. Ironically, the Bridge was where she felt the most comfort even though it lead to a place so full of memories and pain.  
  
She looked up at the stars that were beginning to appear as night settled over New York. There was no moon out to look at so she looked down into the water as her mind began to do the forbidden. As the memories began to resurface the dark water seemed to reflect them.  
  
Liliana watched as the water reflected the Luke she had once known and loved. His long dark blond hair fell down over his ears. A few stubborn pieces fell into his big blue eyes. His mouth lifted in a smirk as he looked up at Liliana.  
  
*Lillie*, he seemed to call before he faded away and a new image appeared. Now she watched as Luke played basketball with the guys. He made a three- point shot and then turned to look up at Liliana.  
  
*How 'bout that, Lillie?*, he asked as he laughed.  
  
"That was great, Luke," she called to him but Marcus had captured his attention. The smirk and laugh were gone. He grimly shook his head at Marcus and tried to shrug off the arm Marcus had placed over his shoulders.  
  
She couldn't hear what they were saying but it sounded urgent and serious. She looked away, knowing it must have something to do with their business. She felt him wrap his arms around her waist and place a kiss on her neck.  
  
"What did Marcus want?," she asked softly as he held her.  
  
*Don't worry about it, Lillie. It was nothing,* he whispered back.  
  
"But you..." Her argument died as she turned and realized she was alone.  
  
Glancing down at the water, she saw the full moon. *That's strange*, she thought as she gazed at it. It had looked like that the night that.....  
  
She shook the memory away as tears formed in her eyes. She jumped as the gun shot sounded for the second time that day. Wet trails marked her cheeks as she glanced down and saw the moon was gone again.  
  
*Don't worry about him, Liliana. Luke can take care of himself, you know that*, she heard Karen whisper.  
  
"I know Karen but something doesn't feel right."  
  
*You're just being superstitious. Nothing is going to happen just because you 'feel' it*, mocked Karen.  
  
"I guess you're right," said Liliana with a sigh. Karen's reply faded into the darkness. "If you had listened, then it would all be okay."  
  
*I'm going whether you want me to or not. I have to go. Why don't you understand that?*, yelled Luke as he stormed out of the room.  
  
Liliana followed him, engrossed in her own anger. "I know that something's not right. I can tell just by the way you're acting. What's wrong?"  
  
*Damn it, I told you nothing was wrong,* he yelled. He paused to take a deep, calming breath. *Look, when I get done I'll come back here. Then we can talk.*  
  
"When will you be back?," she asked softly.  
  
*Midnight. Don't go anywhere until I get here, got it?*, he said in a commanding tone.  
  
"I got it." He kissed her cheek and then left. The image faded again, leaving Liliana alone and shivering. "Why didn't I listen?"  
  
.....There are reasons to forget  
  
The friends we once held close  
  
There are reasons to forget  
  
The love that once was there  
  
All memories provoke the sting  
  
Of my newly formed tears  
  
This silent rainstorm breaks  
  
The calm I've built inside  
  
And these falling raindrops  
  
Are my reasons to forget.  
  
~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~  
  
The poem used in this chapter belongs solely to me. I hope this chapter was worth the wait. I enjoyed writing it....even though it revolves around such a distressing topic. The next chapter expands a little more into Liliana's feelings as she talks to Blink. Please read and review!!!!!!...  
  
~Molly 


	6. Making a choice

Making A Choice.....  
  
Liliana stepped outside the lodging house into the beautiful summer day. Sighing, she walked down the steps.  
  
"Hey Liliana, wait!," called Blink as he raced out of the lodging house. Liliana pretended not to hear him as she continued walking towards the Distribution Center. Blink quickly caught up with her and slowed down.  
  
"I just wanted ta say I'se sorry 'bout dese last few days. I thought dat I could help ya."  
  
"I know."  
  
"I jist don't want ya ta try and hurt yerself again."  
  
"I know."  
  
"If I had known 'bout Luke before I wouldn't have..."  
  
"You know it's been almost 6 months since it happened and I am still not used to it. Next month I'll be celebrating my first birthday in 6 years without one of his crazy schemes. I guess I'll get used to that after a few years....decades maybe." She took a deep breath.  
  
Blink muttered something in a attempt to comfort her, but she paid him no attention. She had spent enough time listening to other people tell her such things after Luke died.  
  
"I'm actually okay most of the time. I'll forget that he's gone and actually smile. I have my moments though. It's those moments when a certain word, person, song, sound, sight, thought, or memory just completely throws me off. It's those moments that scare me the most."  
  
"Dat night was one of dem, wasn't it?," asked Blink softly, trying to absorb the information she was freely offering.  
  
"In a way." She paused, trying to find the right words. "Luke was only a small part of that. There were....other things, too. No, I don't want to talk about them. Just believe me when I say that they made me feel as if life wasn't worth it. Like I wasn't worth it."  
  
"I'se always here ta...."  
  
"Talk. Yeah, I know KidBlink. I'll remember that." Liliana walked into the Distribution Center and looked around at all the new people in her life. Some laughed as if they had no worries. Some grumbled over the bad headlines. Some joked about their problems. It was time she dealt with her own painful past. Forcing a smile, she got in line for her papes.  
  
~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~  
  
Time for shout-outs.....  
  
Sapphy~ Yes, AlwaysPerky/Happy! Blink is pretty darn lovable. ....hehehe...I'll let you know Physic!Blink's secrets in the next chapter or so.......I do feel kind of bad for Spot. He didn't know that he looked like Liliana's dead boyfriend. Oh well....Hope you enjoyed this chapter....Lots of Love....  
  
JustDuck~ Liliana has been through a lot....so it's quite understandable that she's so on edge. About the whole Luke/Spot relation thing.....um....haven't really figured that one out yet. I'll let you know when I do...lol...Hope you enjoyed this chapter....  
  
Wisecraker88~ I'm glad you like my story. Um....no I don't speak Spanish. I took one year of it. Why?....Is it that obvious???.....Things will get better with Liliana. Just give her some time. I'm sorry I've provoked such internal conflict for you. You'll see what happens. ^_^.Hope you enjoyed this chapter.....  
  
N'er Do Well Cad~ I'm glad you like my story...Hope you enjoyed this chapter.....  
  
Sorry this chapter was kind of short. Everyone please read and review!!!! I am also always open to any ideas or suggestions.  
  
~Molly 


	7. Immortal Wounds

Disclainer/Dedication::: The following chapter uses lyrics from "My Immortal" by Evanescence. With the help of my one friend Katy, I did change a few of those lyrics. I dedicate this chapter to Katy who lost her own boyfriend last October. She has dealt with this type of pain more closely than I ever had. May God give her the strength to carry on without Tyler.

* * *

Immortal Wounds....  
  
Liliana made nighttime in Manhattan her alone time. Blink would only let her wander off when almost all the papers were sold. He never stopped worrying about her safety but he understood that she needed the time to heal.  
  
It had been two weeks since she had first met the newsies and Liliana had not yet thought about how she got here or how to get back to the year 2004. She wasn't even sure if she wanted to go back. There were too many things about 2004 that she didn't want to deal with.  
  
_Luke...,_ she thought as she slowly walked towards the bridge. _God, I miss you!_  
  
_I'm so tired of being here _

_Suppressed by all my childish fears _

_And if you have to leave_

_ I wish that you would just leave _

_'Cause your presence still lingers here _

_And I don't want it to go_  
  
Once again Liliana fouond herself contemplating whether or not she should just end her pain. It seemed so much easier. The pain would be gone and nobody would miss her.  
  
_Nobody but Blink_, whispered a voice. _He would miss you._ She smiled slightly at that. She quickly frowned again as she thought of how Blink would never forgive himself if she died. Luke wouldn't forgive himself either if it was him there.

_But he's not here. He's gone_, she thought. _He'll never be here to worry over you again_.  
  
_Lillie...I am here_, whispered a voice as she looked out over Manhattan. _I'll always watch over you.  
  
You used to captivate me _

_By your resonating light _

_Now I'm bound by the life you left behind_

_Your face it haunts my once pleasant dreams _

_Your voice, it chased away all the sanity in me  
_  
"Shit, now I'm hearing voices. I must be losing it," muttered Liliana even as comfort washed over her from hearing Luke's voice.  
  
_I'll always watch over you_... The words seemed so soothing but Liliana knew they couldn't be true. She sighed as she found herself once again on the Brooklyn Bridge. She could see Brooklyn from where she was. At least, she could vaguely see it.  
  
She shuddered as the memories came flooding back. The sound of that fatal shot rang loudly in her ears. _No_, she mentally screamed. She heard her pleas from the night drift to her from a faraway place. _Please don't take him God. I still need him here. Don't take him from me._  
  
_These wounds won't seem to heal _

_This pain is just to real _

_There's just too much that time cannot erase  
_  
God did take him from her that night. He took Luke when she needed him the most. "What kind of God does that? I thought You loved Your children," she whispered to the Heavens as tears came to her eyes. She had asked God similar questions since Luke died but she had never so much as received an answer. Did He even hear her?  
  
She shook her head as she looked out in the direction of Brooklyn once again. She could almost feel Luke's presence right next to her. It erased all her tension and anger. How could he be gone when it felt as if he were right next to her?  
  
_I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone _

_But though you're still with me_

_I've been alone all along_  
  
She felt a hand on her shoulder and turned to see a very concerned-looking Blink. She tried to manage a smile for him but instead her resolve seemed to break. She broke down into tears.  
  
Blink pulled her close to him, just as Luke would have done. Strangely that thought seemed to calm her a little. Her tears seemed to slow. She smiled faintly as she imagined that it was Luke holding her and whispering words of comfort.  
  
_When I cried you'd wipe away all of my tears _

_When we screamed we'd fight away all of our fears_

_And you held my hand through all of these years _

_But you still have all of me_  
  
"Let's go back ta da Lodgin' House. It's gettin' late," whispered Blink when her tears had completely stopped.  
  
She pulled away and wiped away the last remnants of her tears. She nodded to Blink and the two quietly headed back to their beds, both hoping to catch some sleep so that they would be able to get up early for work.  
  
As Liliana laid her head down on her pillow, the last thing she remembered before drifting off into a dreamless sleep was hearing Luke.  
  
_I am here....I'll always watch over you._

_

* * *

_  
Hey everyone. I am so very sorry for the long wait. This chapter just took a lot out of me to write. I guess that is why it took me a while to actually take the time and effort to write it. I hope I was able to present the feelings that I poured into this. Losing a loved one is never easy and the pain is always hovering over you ...or it seems to hover over you. I guess you could say this chapter and chapter 5 "Reasons to Forget" were part of my own healing process. I hope it was worth your wait. Don't worry this story isn't completely focused on her pain. Simply because life isn't just pain. Thanks to all my reviewers. You are always patient with me. Please review!!  
  
Molly


	8. A Need to Explain

**A Need to Explain...  
**  
The next day Liliana woke up feelung somewhat tired due to her late night. Blink seemed as awake and cheerfulas ever. No one seemed to notice or care that the two had returned rather late. Everyone went about their daily routine as usual as they washed and dressed before heading out.  
  
As Liliana stood in the long line at the Distribution Center, her mind began to process what had happened the night before. She knew that now she should tell Blink what exactly had happened in Brooklyn. He deserved that at the very least. She wasn't sure if she could do it without dissolving into tears but she would try to tell him.  
  
When it was her turn, she bought her papers and looked around for Blink. He was over by the entrance, talking with Mush and Race. She quickly forced a smile on her face and joined the trio.  
  
"Heya boys," she greeted.  
  
"Hey Liliana," they replied before returning to the topic at hand, the bad headlines.  
  
Liliana sighed as she tried to listen to their conversation. It seemed every newsie loved to talk about the headlines. The day wasn't complete without each newsie complaining about them at least once or twice. Then they would quote their 'fearless' leader by saying "Headlines don't see papes, newsies sell papes."  
  
She was all too happy when it was time to head out and actually sell. She didn't know if she could've lasted another minute of listening to their complaints.  
  
Blink led her to their usual spots and they split up to sell. Fortunately, they both managed to sell out before lunch. As they began their walk to Tibby's, Liliana sighed and said, "Instead of going off by myself tonight, I was wondering if you would come with me. I want to explain some things to you."  
  
"Ya don't have ta explain, Liliana," said Blink quickly. "It ain't my business."  
  
"No, you need to know," insisted Liliana. "Besides, I need to talk to someone about it."  
  
Blink looked over to her, unsure at first but he could tell she was determined to tell him. Slowly he said, "Alright, we'll talk when we'se done selling."  
  
Liliana nodded her head in agreement. They walked the rest of the way in a comfortable silence.

* * *

For the rest of the day, Liliana could barely concentrate on selling her papes. She was too busy trying to gather the courage to tell Blink while also trying to mentally rehearse what she would say.  
  
She sighed as she sold her last pape before turning to where Blink sat waiting for her.  
  
"Come, walk for me," she said to Blink when she stood by him.  
  
Blink quickly got up and began to walk silently next to Liliana. He knew that it would take some time for her to finally say it so he waited patiently as they walked to the Brooklyn Bridge.  
  
Liliana leaned against the Bridge as she took a deep breath. She continued to look over at Brooklyn.  
  
"Luke and I lived in an apartment in Manhattan. He and a few of his friends owned a business in Brooklyn. Not everything they did was legal but it brought in the money. Things were going well. Luke and I were even talking about getting married. We wanted to have a family together.  
  
"Well, Luke had a business meeting late one night. Something didn't feel right. I begged him not to go, but he was stubborn. He assured me it was alright. All I had to do was stay at home and wait for him. I promised I would stay," she continued softly as tears began to fill her eyes. "I broke my promise.  
  
"I ran to Brooklyn where it was taking place. Luke's 'clients' were not happy to see me. They had wanted no intruders. The leader shouted a command and one of his guys pulled out a gun to shoot me." She turned to Blink. "I froze. I couldn't move at all because I was in shock. Luke jumped in frond of me right as the gun went off."  
  
She closed her eyes and winced as she heard the shot again. "He was dead before he hit the ground. I snapped out of my daze with a scream and took off running. I didn't have a chance to hold him one last time.  
  
"To this day, I still don't know how I got away from them. Somehow I made it home, even blinded by tears,:" she stated as she opened her eyes and looked at Brooklyn again. "He might still be alive if I hadn't broken my promise."  
  
Blink wraopped his arms around her as the tears began to fall heavily. "Ya don't know dat Liliana. Don't blame yerself for his death. It ain't yer fault."  
  
For once, the words of comfort actually seemed to help Liliana. The tears stopped and she was able to wipe away their remnants. Wrapping her arms around Blink's waist and pulling him closer, she said, "Thanks Kid Blink."  
  
She pulled away after a few minutes with a small smile. "I think I needed to talk to someone about it. I'm glad it was you."  
  
Blink smiled back as he wrapped an arm around her shoulders and they began to walk back to the Lodging House. "I'se glad ya told me."  
  
Neither one said another word as they walked back to the Lodging House.

* * *

Hey everyone!! I'm sorry for the wait. I've been trying to reconnect with my inner Newsie. (more like Newsie Obsession) by reading other fan fiction and watching Newsies. I actually watched the whole movie the other day. Usually I skip every Pulitzer scene and stick mainly to the singing and dancing. I haven't seen any of it in months now. Maybe that is why I wasn't feeling very inspired?? I will try not to let that happen again. _By the way I am in need of a newsie name for Liliana....Any suggestions???_  
  
_Sapphy_ I'm glad you always review. So loyal!!! I love it! Well now you know how he died and why Liliana blames herself. Blink and Liliana?....hmmmm....lol...your brilliant powers of persuasion???...but you aren't even in this story!! lol.....oh well You'll see what happens if I ever manage to finish this story. Hope you liked this chapter. Lots of Love.....  
  
_JustDuck_ I'm glad you enjoy my story. I'm sorry I haven't updated in a while but I haven't been feeling very inspired lately. I'm working on that though so don't worry. I try not to make the song the basis of the chapter if I can help it. I just thought that song really fit what I was trying to show about Liliana. I hope you liked this chapter as well.  
  
It seems I am losing reviewers. It must be my lack of update over the last few months. Again I am really sorry about that. Please review (it helps inspire me!!!....hint hint)!  
  
Molly 


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